…but it’s worth it.
Thursday, August 7th, 2008 | Uncategorized
That’s what I heard after every question I asked about giving birth and raising a newborn. I would ask, “how bad does it hurt?” and the vague answer would inevitably be followed by “but its worth it.” As I was soaking my burning and swollen self in the tub last night, I was sobbingly telling Chris that I had no idea how hard the recovery would be and how much I would be frustrated and pained by all of my recovery symptoms. I feel like the truth about all this was kept secret from me and replaced with things mothers think they should say. Except for my mom, who basically told me exactly how it would go, I just thought I already knew everything and didn’t believe her….Hi, mom! 🙂 Maybe I’m just a big fat complainer or super selfish, but this recovery totally sucks and the fact that it is actually worth it does not seem to help. I feel like if I would have been realistically prepared for what physical recovery was like, then I may be coping a little better. The recovery and the sweet little baby are two totally separate thoughts in my mind. Of course, if someone said they could take my pain away, but I couldn’t have my baby…I would clearly take the pain because my baby is definitely one of the cutest, sweetest, and best little boys ever on earth. I’m just sayin’. But just because it’s worth it does not mean the recovery is any easier.
I don’t want to be the kind of mother that ends up saying things that I don’t mean because I think the social pressures to give up everything (including your right to complain when something hurts) for their child will get me. I am determined to find the balance between remaining true to myself and my own needs, while at the same time making sure that my baby is taken total care of and receives the most love my husband and I can give him…and then a little more. I don’t think its fair (or healthy) to pressure women into feeling like they have to choose between themselves and their children. Don’t even get me started on how men don’t have to do that….I still have my combat boots in the back of the closet…….
1 Comment to …but it’s worth it.
Think of all the bookshelf space I can claim back when I have a book burning for all your old feminist bullcrap.
Iron my shirts.
(I’m kidding please don’t hurt me)
August 7, 2008