Just look away, Jay…

Friday, August 8th, 2008 | Uncategorized

Our cousin Jay couldn’t make it through my previous posts, so I thought a warning was in order.  This will be very graphic for the faint of hear (that means you, Bobby)….I think it may be time to talk about the labor and delivery experience.  I’ve been waiting until I had a bit of time to write about this experience.  The little boy is sleeping (for now) and I’m gonna give it a try. 

I was in labor for 12 hours and in what can be considered “delivery” for 2.  I consider delivery the active pushing after the full 10 cm dialation.  Chris and I got to the hospital with my dad at 6pm for a scheduled induction.  I was not in labor at the time.  I was immediately checked in and the induction began with a dose of cervadil around 8:30ish, a suppository that is supposed to soften the cervix and get it dialating.  There is an outside chance that it can also start labor, which it did for me.  My mom got there and she and my dad went to get Chris a golden bowl from the Grit that I got to watch him eat.  I still maintain that the worst torture for a pregnant lady is to not allow her to eat during labor.  Luckily for me, the nurses in the delivery unit snuck me popsicles even though my mean doctor said I could only have ice chips and water.  Those were the best popsicles I’d ever had. 

We went to sleep and I woke up around 2:30am with what I thought were cramps.  I’m still not convinced that I even felt contractions at all.  The cramps eventually got so bad (and the monitor concurred) at around 5:00am, that the nurse told me I could get the epidural.  I gladly accepted and within the 1/2 hour, the epidural guy was there and I practically asked him if he would be my boyfriend on the side.  Epidurals are good…pain is bad.  We went back to sleep, I think, but eventually my parents got there and, once again, I ate a popsicle while watching the three of them eat McDonalds for breakfast.  They wouldn’t even give me a bite, a tiny bite!!!  That damn McDonalds sign was a beacon in the night down Prince Avenue through my room window, too.  All I could do was stare at it longingly.  Ice chips and water…whatever. 

During all this, before the epidural, the nurse checked me for dialation once or twice and those exams hurt like hell.  Especially if you have a very posterior cervix like I did.  After the epidural, however, I didn’t care what they shoved up there…cut my legs off, I was happy.  I was checked a couple times, I got a few straight catheters, I didn’t feel a thing.  I was around 5cm by around 8am

Now the timeline gets a little fuzzy.  I think around 10:30am, the doctor, who I love now after being snuck popsicles and getting an epidural, came in and check me and he said I was 9cm and that he could feel hair.  Okay, that made it very, very real.  I had worked up a good bit of denial during the whole night and morning and was pretty convinced that I could somehow get out of this.  But now, with the phrase, “her water has broken and I feel hair,” Chris had to take a pause and sit down, and I began throwing up all over the place.  Then we were over it and the nurses helped me clean up.  I was pretty pissed because they told me that if I ate, I would throw up, so I begrudgingly agreed not to eat.  But, if I was gonna throw up anyway, I could’ve had some of that damn McDonalds…just a tiny bite!!!  Again, whatever.

My water breaking turned out to be quite a mystery, because (I’m totally serious), no one could find it.  I never felt it break, I never noticed any water anywhere, and the nurse said that the bed was dry.  But when the doctor checked me, it was gone!  Duh nuh!!!  There’s no reward for the missing water and if anyone finds it, I don’t want it back…

It took me from 10:30am and 2pm to dialate one more centimeter to 10cm.  That was a long wait for everyone, but to me, it didn’t feel like that long.  I had been in labor basically all day, but it seemed to go pretty fast.  My mom only tried to bust in twice and Chris’ mom tried twice too.  I was adimant that my mom not see me like that, because I didn’t want her to see her own child in pain and struggling.  If my mom couldn’t come in, nobody else could either.  Chris and my nurse Donna did a good job of keeping the worried grandmas away.  So we started pushing at 2 and the baby was born at 4:04pm. 

I’m tired walking down this memory lane.  We’ll talk about pushing and delivery later….I have a few more minutes before Jonathan wakes up to take a quick nap….

6 Comments to Just look away, Jay…

Uncle Bob
August 8, 2008

Oh my God, I didn’t stop reading…

Meg
August 9, 2008

Dude, I specifically warned you!!!

Uncle Bob
August 9, 2008

*flushing head down toilet*

Liz A
August 9, 2008

I like this idea for a blog. It seems no one really wants to tell expectant parents what’s going to happen even though they know full well. I look forward to your future posts.

jay
August 12, 2008

Thanks for the heads up. You’re a great writer but in cases like this, I like to look at the paragraph shapes as a sort of art unto themselves as I gloss through it. Judging by the title, we’ll just say “it’s hard”, appreciate your experience, and move on to the next one. You did a fantastic job though.

Meg
August 12, 2008

Thanks Jay…It won’t always be this gross…wait til I start getting political.

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